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  Went to brunch, saw a garage sale on the way home with a ton of milk glass and decided to stop. She was severely undercharging so I let her know but while we were talking she let it slip that she's 91 and her grandkids were supposed to come help her and they didn't. Yes I did call her 32 year old grandson son and tell him to get his booty over to Grandma's because she's priced an Atari 1600 and 30 games at $4 Yes she has the ET game. Y'all need to stop lying to your g...

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  Kid: what do you do when you feel hopeless? Me: if it's a sad hopeless I listen to a song that will make me cry, if it's a resigned hopeless I'll likely play with my sketchbook Kid: I don't know if I can concentrate enough to draw well if I feel like that Me: you know you can make ugly art whenever you want right? If you really hate it you can rip out the page. Kid: wait, like on purpose do ugly art? Me: yes take all your ugly feelings and make it into ugly art, whether y...

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  Her: I don't understand how you can do all of this and still be cheerful Me: I'm faking it? You know how you have a special professional voice for the phone when you're talking business? Her: yes Me: this is the attitude version of it. I'm actually severely depressed like chronically but it's not helpful to lean into that at work. Her: so you can just pretend to be happy? Me: girl I can pretend to be allistic, happy ain't hard after that.

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  Me: if you keep saying "no" all the time it's going to get tuned out. Him: but I don't want him to do that Me: ok but your dog learns by getting it right, not by being told no. Him: so if he's doing something I don't want you want me to ignore that Me: no, you should make time to redirect your dog into something the dog can succeed at. Him: so I just let him get away with it?! Me: no? If he's up on the counter you say "down" and when he gets down...

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  A kid asked me what biologists called the trumpet shaped flowers when describing them before there were trumpets. I'm going to try to find him an answer but I'm asking here to not forget later to find out. #plantID

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  They started making TI calculators in one of my favorite colors and I don't need one because I still have mine from 1993 and I don't need a new one just because it's a pretty color but It's a pretty color

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  Me: I remember how to spell "definitely" because it has the word "finite" in it. Kid: I remember how to spell danger because the word "anger" is in it. Me: interesting

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  Me: yo party people, I need to go get something from the place with the things so I need you all to raise your right hand and repeat after me "I promise I will self manage my behavior to the best of my ability until an adult returns" Kid: can I behave while you're gone but then do whatever when you get back? Me: define "whatever" Kid: I want to paint with my fingers instead of a brush Me: oh, you can do that when I get back if everyone is being good while I'm g...

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  Him: I thought large birds can't fly Me: some large birds fly and some don't Him: ostriches don't fly Me: yeah, I think that they can run pretty fast Him: I found out today that flamingos can fly Me: yes, I remember when I found that out Him: did you see one flying?! Me: no no I saw animated ones flying in a movie called Lion King Him: there aren't flamingos in Lion King Me: they are in the opening scene I think Him: what are they doing? Me: flying to see the baby...

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  Me: thank you Her: did you just thank your dog? Me: yes, I asked her to carry this for me and she did so I said thank you Her: I thought you were supposed to say "good girl" Me: I like to keep it professional when she's working #dogs

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  Me: hey do you want to see the Moon? Her: in the telescope? Me: yes Her: but I'm in line Me: my dog can hold your place in line Sincerely, Taco Truck night is my favorite telescope outreach.

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  I forgot to tell you, but I meant to tell you that there was this group of kids at camp ages like 6-8 and I overheard one telling the group "We are going to be kind this year, because bullying is cringe now" I really hope that's a new trend among the children. We're being kind now. Join us. #Sunday

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  🎶 her name is Maple and she's a doggy With two soft and fluffy ears and a wiggle waggle rear 🎶 Do you ever make up songs and sing them to your pets? Got any solid bops? #saturday #pets #dogs #cats #parodysongs

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  Hank green made something cool https://artemistimeline.com/#artemis-ii-walkout-nhq202604010003

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  Stop apologizing for asking questions. Curiosity is a valuable trait. It means you are interested in learning new things. That's one of the best things about my favorite people on the planet. Be curious. You are doing fine.