2026-10-12 16:59 UTC
Replies (40)
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@LegitimateEngineer@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 17:31
For staying positive, staying positive won’t prevent disaster, but it can help you move past it. For saving money, ideally invest it, either get a high yield savings account at >3% interest which (roughly) beats inflation. Or try an index fund if you can save that money for long term.
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@Broadfern@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 17:36
We live in a world ruled by billionaire pedophiles, so the system rewards behavior similar to that. On the other side of that - do not worry about being a “nice” person when that means your own well-being is being taken away. Be kind to yourself first (how you can, I know it’s not easy), then try to be around people who have similar ideals. Society at large can be soul crushing. Life is hard and not fair. I don’t have an answer for you beyond what I wrote but I hope you can find some rest and a small relief in your near future.
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@punkwalrus@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 17:37
Most of these posts assume that the goal for being nice and good is FOR the rewards. Like, “I donate to my homeless shelter all the time, and do I get any thanks? The HELL with them!” That is where it usually fails. The real trick is being strong enough to stay nice DESPITE the lack or rewards, or even inconvenience. You are nice and good because it’s a core of who you are, not just for flattery and incentives.
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@Anchorxiety@reddthat.com 2026-10-12 17:44
it feels like this in video games where you actually get rewarded more for being evil.
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@lntl@lemmy.ml 2026-10-12 17:55
Practicing these things Honesty Responsibility Kindness Generosity Compassion have yielded wealth beyond measure. Idk about “good and nice.”
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@crandall@lemmy.today 2026-10-12 17:55
Try to consider being kind as it’s own reward, rather than something you do to gain another result
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@BassTurd@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 18:00
Pretty much all of the examples you provided happen to shitty people too, probably at a hiring rate in many cases. The benefit of being a good person on those situations is that at least you can take pride in not being a turd. Take your list, and reverse the logic for each input and see if that would make you feel better. Maintained a crappy attitude, then misfortune strikes. Spent all of my money, inflation happens. Was a jerk, taken advantage of. Was a liar, get hatred. Just a handful of examples.
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@horus_son_of_isis@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 18:03
Moral and ethical behavior ultimately results in fewer problems and a better experience over all. I’ve seen plenty of selfish people (whose actions often harmed others), and they ultimately destroyed their own lives through their folly. I’ve known a lot of selfish wealthy people and most are pretty miserable - paranoid, lonely, etc. I also know a handful wealthy people who are kind, generous, and humble – they have amazing lives. I know people who have led very simple lives, who worked hard, just did without when they couldn’t afford something, and avoided the greed and materialism of mainstream consumerism – that takes self-discipline and a special kind of consciousness. Ultimately their legion of friends and neighbors helped them when they got knocked down. What you are seeing when evil men prosper is not their own work or evil designs; it is the safety net that has been given to them to prevent accumulating the consequences of their actions. donny, Musk, and their peers all were raised in extremely privileged circumstances. They have been protected from the consequences of their evil deeds their entire lives — you don’t have that. You won’t get away with anything because you don’t have a rich father to pay your bail, hire a top lawyer, or buy a Supreme Court Justice a million-dollar RV. Material things do not guarantee happiness. Try reading some Epictetus, Seneca, or my favorite, Marcus Aurelius. This is a topic of frequent dialogue among the Stoics.
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@StudyTheDerg@lemmy.ml 2026-10-12 18:20
The ideal, if you want to get nice behavior out of people, is to be strict and fair at the same time with them. If people are nice to you, you treat them ten times more nicely. If people are mean to you, you treat them ten times more meanly, and seek out every opportunity to break their happiness until they surrender. You do not have to be evil; it is not good to always be mean like the evil people do, since they create enemies who will come to you for support, and that is their weakness. You just have to be just and measured, rewarding those who do you well, and punishing those who do you wrong.
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@lunatic_lobster@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 18:30
Most of the things you listed are not moral things. staying positive making friends looking for a better job saving money selling online therapy religion sleep All of these have nothing to do with moral good or evil. An evil person can stay positive that their plan to steal credit from coworker will result in their promotion. An evil person can make friends and take more than they give from the relationship. An evil person can take a better job that exploits vulnerable populations. An evil person can hoard wealth… And on and on. It seems like you are saying things aren’t working out for you financially, socially, etc. And for a lot of that cognitive behavioral therapy can certainly help you reframe bad thinking and patterns to make things better. That doesn’t mean all your problems are solved, but it can make things better. Many of the things you listed are wise things to do rather than morally good. And even if they don’t result in your idea of “success” they almost always result in something better than having not done them. For example saving money. Let’s say you save 10,000 and inflation makes it only have the purchasing power of 8,000. You find yourself in a spot where you are unemployed and that 8,000 is going to be a saving grace. It will help your life way more than if you had blown it on 10,000 worth of vacations or consumer goods.
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@TastyFugu@lemmy.ml 2026-10-12 18:30
Being a genuine good human doesn’t make life easier, but it gives you peace of mind, because it’s the right thing to do. And if people feel, that you mean it genuinely, they are much more likely to help you back.
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@Rumo161@feddit.org 2026-10-12 18:34
Do no harm and take no shit.
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@Cyanova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-10-12 18:40
Being nice is an act of rebellion in a cold, uncaring world. If it is your nature to try to do good, don’t let other people not being there yet stop you being yourself.
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@gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 2026-10-12 19:25
It’s less financially rewarding because most of the developed world exists in the context of late stage capitalism and / or oligopoly.
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@davel@lemmy.ml 2026-10-12 19:29
You’re going about this all wrong. Morality is similar to religion in that it’s make-believe. Good vs. evil discourse is unserious, but most people in bourgeois states take it seriously anyway, as does corporate media. Previously: This “evil/not evil” metaphysical dichotomy is a moral framework. There are no intrinsically ”evil” people, and I would drop that moral framework. Philosophy professor and YouTuber Hans-Georg Moeller: Why Sam Harris is Wrong - A Critique of Sam Harris’ "The Moral Landscape" If Morality Exists Everything Is Permitted. (Q&A) Hans-Georg Moeller - The Moral Fool: A Case for Amorality
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@404found@lemmy.zip 2026-10-12 20:41
This just sounds like life. You sound like you’re in a depression slump because I start to view things the same way when I get in these slumps. Being a helpful person is actually more rewarding to your well being than being a scammer. Read or listen to the YouTube audiobook, “The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama”
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@theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 2026-10-12 20:58
If it wasn’t, everyone would do it.
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@corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 2026-10-12 21:13
Why are you treating this like it’s transactional? Your character is a reflection on you and not a ticket to preferential treatment.
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@HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2026-10-12 21:51
You can be nice, but establish boundaries. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep yourself warm.
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@Aatube@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-10-12 22:01
tried theraphy, the solution only dont think about it, its okay (if only it was that easy) the usual response is to try a different therapist
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@AntiOutsideAktion@lemmy.ml 2026-10-13 04:36
What the fuck does any of that have to do with being a good person? Literally every single thing EVERY SINGLE THING listed is about yourself.
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@KnightOfOldEmpire@lemmy.ml 2026-10-13 06:47
Modern people in my experience work under the idea of “everyone’s dirty so it’s fine if I’m doing amoral acts”, if you’re doing the opposite you are showing them that there’s a way, integrity, goodness or whatever you wish to call it. They will hate you for it, but that’s not a fault of your own, it’s just their psyche trying to defend themself, not quite extensional threat but to their eyes it’s an eye sore.
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@fodor@lemmy.zip 2026-10-13 08:27
So a bunch of the things you wrote have nothing to do with being nice. I wonder if you could provide a clear definition of what being nice actually is. Religion? Sleep? That’s got nothing to do with niceness. But look clearly you need to think about who you’re being nice to. If a person treats you like dirt, there’s no good reason you should try to be nice to them… So I’m trying to figure out what your framing is, because maybe you took some advice somewhere and applied it recklessly and thought you would get good results.
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@acron@lemmy.ml 2026-10-13 08:40
I’m late but as others have said, your logic is a little wonky. I would prescribe a dose of philosophy. Start with Plato.
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@gray@lemmy.ml 2026-10-13 09:01
Being nice isn’t about getting stuff for yourself
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@choihanna@lemmy.zip 2026-10-13 09:40
As a trans person get this so much. I’ve turned mean and dry as a person, specially to men. Somehow making fun of the men attracted to me gives me some sense of power I never have.
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@Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2026-10-13 10:46
Honest answer you don’t wanna hear? If you’re good to reap a benefit, you’re not good. You just tried maximizing your own profit by this and failed. Being “good and nice” is an ethical decision and will not inherently reward you. Being evil is easy, as it’s our native state of existence. Egoisim, egocentrism, anthropocentrism. A cold heart can’t take any harm. Being evil makes life in an evil world (capitalism, humanity itself) much easier. Yes. But also you’re part of the problem, not the solution. Even though noone gives a shit what you insect (no insult, just emphasizing our insignificance) do. You will never be rewarded for doing the right or good thing. Or extremely rarely. Mostly you’ll be ridiculed, scammed, made fun of, exploited and whatever else. Personally, I don’t give a fuck. I am what I am, if anyone wants to exploit me, it’s their loss. Looking for equals is hard, but very rewarding. Lemme quote a game (lol…): “What is better? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”
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@altphoto@lemmy.today 2026-10-13 13:00
I think I agree with your observation. Simple example: I tried reducing hobbies to image printing in alternative photography: CMYK… simple except that no matter what store you visit everyone already bought the M magenta. Specifically M122 quinacridone magenta because it’s transparent and permanent lightfast. It doesn’t matter little thing we do, the orange asshole at the wheel is working to fuck it up. Now thanks to inflation I have to think about not retiring and maybe a second job. Just don’t get sick until you bite the dust. Anyway, I think maybe you should just be as open-minded as possible to understand each misfortune for what it might be so you can adjust the way you are or expect. Like getting ghosted by a friend… maybe you are way tooo much and they can’t stand it. Maybe they changed something like got a girlfriend or boyfriend that doesn’t really like you. Maybe they got a second job?
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@apotheotic@beehaw.org 2026-10-13 14:19
To be kind is to hope for and work toward a better world. When you are kind you do not naturally receive some “reward”, but rather give a “reward” to those you provide kindness to. The catch is that your kindness will affect a great many more than you will ever know or hear about. It is multiplied. You, every single day, benefit from the kindness of others whether you are aware of it or not. Kindness is not transactional. You give comfort and ease to those around you. The closest it gets to a transaction is that you may hope that by being kind you plant a seed in others that will grow into kindness of their own, which may in time find its way back to you. Metaphorically, imagine a communal food pantry, where the food actually represents some abstract stockpile of kindness and goodwill in the world. To be neutral is to bring a foodstuff you are less fond of, and take a foodstuff you are more fond of. To be kind is to bring plentiful foodstuffs for others to enjoy, and take only what you need. To be unkind is to take when you do not need it. I know people have already hit you with the “kindness is its own reward” but it truly is. When I consider the profound impact on my own life because of the kindness of others, I am given the drive to try and provide that for others. What a joy it is to know that I may have helped someone get through their day just a little bit easier. We cannot control the evils of others, but we can control the kindness of ourselves, and kindness can ease the pains caused by the evils of others.
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@folaht@lemmy.ml 2026-10-13 14:42
right now i can relate why some people choose to become evil person, because being good and nice person in this world is just not as rewarding as bad people does. Most evil people are born bad. tried making friends, ended up ghosted Why what happened?
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@RBWells@lemmy.world 2026-10-13 15:29
It’s not less rewarding but I can agree, more exhausting. Religion doesn’t make sense to me either really, but stepping on other people to gain material wealth would not feel rewarding. Can you maybe be more specific about how you want to be good in the world and let a little bit of the other stuff slide? You can’t fix everything, and remember YOU are also a person you should be good to. Being selfless is hurting at least one person. If you need medication to sleep and feel ok, there’s probably something going on with your mental health. Not anything to do with whether you are “good” or “bad” just something to tackle so you can function in your life.
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@soyslurper2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2026-10-13 16:35
Are evil people negative? Pretty sure they are positive in a toxic sense
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@BCsven@lemmy.ca 2026-10-13 16:46
This is life, there are no guarantees, and randomness can create massive problems. If you always look for a specific outcome (for what you put in as you see as effort), then you will most likely always be dissapointed. The world sucks, then you die, so you might as well make the best of it while here and help your fellow humans along the way.
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@DeathsEmbrace@lemmy.world 2026-10-13 16:49
Humans are socially engineered. Capitalism was created and designed to capitalize and corner. It rewards greed and selfish people often portraying the negative and evil characteristics. Our economy encourages evil people because they’re successful in capitalism. You won’t be a billionaire by caring about other people. All of them exploit a majority of the working class. The world right now is designed for bad people because economic success encourages negative characteristics. That’s why white collar crimes are a dime a dozen. Basically when you start with a turd and then gold spray it you end with a shiny turd. That’s why you always have feel good stories about some rich millionaire giving away or donating show up in news. Its news worthy to be rich, successful and a good person. Even though its basic human decency.
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@Shanmugha@lemmy.world 2026-10-13 17:01
It is never about good and evil, only about what works and what doesn’t. Contributing towards others wellbeing above your own will inevitably hurt the latter, unless you are so unshakeably well established within yourself that nothing can ever even scratch you. At the same time to even be capable to improve wellbeing of others you need your own wellbeing taken care of And yes, wellbeing does not mean consuming more and of higher quality than someone else, it means being well
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@heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2026-10-14 02:23
Yeah. I just try to find the balance and let others deal.
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@UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2026-10-14 03:06
Capitalism
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@redballooon@lemmy.world 2026-10-13 10:27
Have you tried to just sit in silence? That’s rewarding as hell.
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@NathanRanch@lemmy.zip 2026-10-14 18:06
Because it’s constructive, simply put an explicit and constant effort. Your work is being cooped by other people, but it’s your work nonetheless. Evolve to find better ways to protecting it if you can - is the general notion. Your mileage may vary.
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@tigermountain@lemmy.world 2026-10-15 12:45
Being a nice and good person is its own reward. It doesn’t matter if you were nice and got taken advantage of. What matters is that you were nice. It doesn’t matter that you saved money and it was hit by inflation. The point is that you saved money. What results from your actions can never be guaranteed. The point is that you did what you thought was right.