Boomer Humor Doomergod

LMAO Reddit search barely works

Invading other countries isn’t bad when WE do it

I refuse to hope for a world where copyright and AI are both destroyed in one lawsuit because it’s too beautiful to ever be real.

Yet another reason to move to the boonies where the only garbage truck is your own beater every couple weeks. And you accidentally turn a whipped cream container into a steam rocket.

To be fair, that’s about every job. If I’m not either having fun or doing something useful I check out and hate my life.

Moving can’t hurt if you never move. This message brought to you by the desk job gang

Take regular VM snapshots and never forget that exploits can breach the VM

Yes, thirty-seven

I should rewatch Clerks…

Don’t download shady shit

Why did they make it with an arm? All of this can be done with much simpler machinery. Hell, Costco already has an automatic sauce spreader. ETA: Put some slicers on it and you have the selling point of having really fresh ingredients. ETA2: DiGiorno already figured out how to automate pizza production.

Also, 15 minute cities are a globalist plot to steal our precious bodily fluids. /s

It’s weird that my two most trusted institutions are a satirical newspaper and a rude card game, right?

I will only buy property in an area where every sign has bullet holes. Lets me know my neighbors share my disdain for authority.

Born too late to play with the demon core. Born too early to make your own at home.

I am never buying a car built after 2016

Those evergreens will give my pigs a nice shade, and you’ll have to deal with the smell.

Outside at some town in Flyover, PA? Makes sense. A guy just waltzes into the Correspondent's Dinner with a gun? No way.

This contradicts their insistence that children should have children to stop population decline

On a cold winter night I like to light a fire in my fireplace and sling my hammock in front of it and get baked and listen to an audiobook

My ideal pick would be Desolation Island by Patrick O’Brian read by Patrick Tull

Optimism didn’t get me anywhere either. Well, it got me disappointed, misanthropic, and cynical. I guess that’s somewhere.

Embrace the doom.

If I ran a high school tech class I’d give them a box of parts and say “make it run Doom”

I’m an absurdist, which is a nihilist who’s pretending they understand the joke

Turning disappointment into deeper and more intractable disappointment? Doesn’t seem productive. Especially because it involves dealing with people, further sharpening my misanthropy.

Ever heard of those folks they found in the wild parts of Russia in the late 70s who never even realized the Second World War happened? Fucking life goals there

Wait for the winter. I’ll bet $20 that the Boston-Washington corridor gets at least 18” of snow in one event.

My dad had that idea and he got roped into a position where he has no power and just receives complaints. He’s not running for reelection.

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.

I’m a VW owner. Mine’s always on.

All countries are bad. Nation states are imaginary monsters.

Good thing I’m not a fucking liberal. Assholes fighting for oil are still assholes.

We have the government we have not because choices are being forced on us, but because our citizens keep making shitty choices. Can we not? Please? Nope. People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling and will continually fuck things up for stupid reasons.

Which is why we are doomed. The best we can come up with is awful.

Guess they both suck.

Reference for those who don’t know Onfim

I’ll take my chances. Plus those clothes and shoes sound durable and cheap.

If you told me this was from Back to the Future 2 I’d believe you

I’ve opened quite a few pithy response by repeating myself.

Fucking classic meme

Everyone on 9/11: “WHY DID THEY ATTACK NYC?!?!?” Me, after reading bin Laden’s manifesto: “Ah, that’s actually pretty logical.”

Yeah, but 90% of the time it’s just a bad coil pack and I keep spares in my trunk. If I don’t check my oil for a while and go around a turn too fast she’ll yell at me about oil pressure. Gotta fix that PCV valve…

I’d rather be an electrician than a plumber. It’s like a simpler, deadlier Ethernet.

If you’re gonna use violence to enforce your will I’m gonna call you an asshole.

Bill Atkinson, creator of QuickDraw, also hated them. Steve Jobs made him a bet: I’ll take you to lunch and we’ll count all the square corners and all the rounded corners. Bill conceded by the time they got the menus at the restaurant, and figured out how to draw rounded corners as fast as square ones.

Pope says: “Fuck Clankers”

If I wake up and I just hallucinated this and it didn’t actually happen I’m blaming OP

Mine is when the Israelites slaughtered entire cities and then they made kids sing about it at Bible Camp.

Powerline networking is a thing and a great choice for bringing hardline connections to remote parts of a house. I had a shed that had electric but my WiFi couldn’t reach and a cheap powerline kit and a spare OpenWRT and it worked a treat.