Welp, I gave up, factory reset the old Android, and it went just fine. It didn't need my old Google password or anything. Just what's current. * Refused all the "let us customize" garbage * Set up a new password I actually know * Deleted the Ad ID * Am doing an update for laughs * Will set up the Dev options next * Will work on upgrading to some other OS, because this Google Big Brother nonsense is BS. From there? Who knows?! It's the "wild west," I tell ya!