Post by @mallory_sinn@hachyderm.io

2026-04-09 22:05 UTC

So there is a basic social contradiction in being a trans woman - asserting yourself as a human being and taking on a role expected to be a human giver. Like cis women, we are punished for daring to be women who assert we have a right to be in our full humanity and to express ourselves. The problem is that this is an essential and unremovable aspect from what it means to be a trans woman or transfeminine person in most of our cultures today. We can't be folded back solely into the role of housewife and reproductive mother for a cis, straight man to impregnate, no matter how much violence they visit upon us. Nothing we do will ever satisfy the demand for us to be solely givers and thus bigots want us to be exterminated and erased from society. But this also highlights something for me I rarely see a developed theory around: why and how transmisogyny from cis women functions.

Replies (1)

@mallory_sinn@hachyderm.io 2026-04-09 22:17

Cis women will often internalize their roles as human givers and enforce that upon themselves, other women, and girls in their lives. Think of every mother who dotes on her sons and trains her daughters to act as mothers before they are grown. Think of the girls who bully dykes and lesbians for being queer. Think of the cis women who didn't like Hilary Clinton, not for her politics, but because she was seen as a bitch. Think of the woman who is a feminist and yet struggles to allow herself to give herself permission to have needs, take up space as a person, and to not always take on caring as work. So when trans women come out and assert that they can be women and human beings (as well be givers too in addition to beings), they are seen as a problem. I personally have been punished by cis women who were my bosses at work for demanding my needs, along with my coworkers, be equally considered. When I would be flashy, fun, and unashamed in my gender presentation, I have many times gotten side-eyes or judgmental looks and comments from cis women - and the feeling of resentment was often palpable. If I act in a confrontational way while advocating even for others, I am responded to as something less or worse than a bitch - an abomination, a monster, something that needs to be punished and removed. This extends to how TERFs talk about us, seeing us as a threat because we assert our existence and humanity. Why would this be a problem for supposed "feminists" unless we are flagrantly violating the rules and traumas they still carry in themselves? They say we talk too much, we're too loud, and we take up too much space - how dare a (trans) woman speak up, be loud, or take up space?!

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