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  Henry hoovers are shit. Yes they're the most popular make of vacuum in the U.K. but that's because they have a cute face on the front, not because they're actually good.

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  Cleaned out an old building last month and came away with 30 CRT TVs. I did the best thing possible when you have kids. I dressed them up in safety gear and we each got to use a claw hammer to smash in one screen. They'll remember that for the rest of their lives.

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  UK water privatisation is staggering. Companies were effectively handed monopolies over an essential, inelastic good on two basic conditions - don't exploit customers, and reinvest in infrastructure. Instead we got shit in rivers and and million pound bonuses to execs.

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  Microsoft have not added any necessary new features to Word in over 20 years. Office 2003 is more than enough for literally anything you'd ever need to do.

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  Podcasts that are produced to be watched should not be allowed to be called podcasts. It is ruining the genre by taking away the simple pleasure of listening only, and being encouraged to stare at a screen and consume ads and product placement.

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  People who let their hedge grow out over the pavement should be fined. It's not hard to cut a hedge, you're just too lazy so the rest of us get less space to walk.

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  Either Ready Salted crisps should just be called Salted Crisps, or all other flavours should have the "ready" prefix added

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  Reform U.K. is for people who have tattoos of their children but not custody of them.

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  You'll enjoy a real painting by a local artist much more than a print of a painting by a famous one. And you'll have absolutely made their day/week/month.

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  If we normalised washing our genitals in the sink after we've used them, like we do our hands, we would all have a lot more oral sex. We'd all have more sex, full stop.

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  Nothing is ever "greater than the sum of its parts". People just tend to underestimate the value of the less shiny parts that make the whole.

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  Offering vouchers that expire is stealing from your customers.

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  The decline of the use of the harpsichord in music was all down to peer pressure by Big Piano. Fuck you Steinway.

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  Amazon driver here. If you're buying something from Amazon every day of the week, 1. You have a problem, 2. You're a cunt

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  It's harder to hack paper ballots. That's why demagogues hate them.

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  From LtoR, top row then bottom row, eggs should always be arranged in the box thusly: 123456, 1234x6, 123x5x, 1x3x5x, x2xx5x, x2xxxx. Random egg removal without rearrangement is only for the clinically insane.

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  Everyone knows that the real capital of Australia is Melbourne.

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  In any online review, the 3 stars are where it's at. 4/5s are mostly fake, 1-2s are just moany fuckers with a chip on their shoulders. The 3 stars are the people who actually give an honest, thoughtful opinion.

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  Oetzi, the man whose corpse was discovered in the Alps in 1991, was shot in the back. He was a victim of a crime and we owe it to him and his family to investigate what happened and who's responsible. Justice demands it.

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  There should be lessons on safely setting fire to a fart. Most men will try it once or more.

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  Porn would be a lot less popular, if you could smell it.

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  Salt doesn't need to be ground like pepper does. The only reason we have salt and pepper grinders is because humans like symmetry.

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  If, when over the age of 30, your profile picture on any active social media is of you on some kind of night out, you are, without exception, a twat.

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  If you've got an opinion you want on here - submit it to the form: https://forms.gle/1gNMupaNHQf8xeRE6

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  If you've got an opinion you want on here - submit it to the form: https://forms.gle/1gNMupaNHQf8xeRE6

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  I don't believe that any of Ayn Rand's fans have actually read her books, because that would take incredible dedication.

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  If Han Solo had spent less time poncing about with Chewbacca and more time being a father maybe his son wouldn't have stabbed him.

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  Anyone who thinks "is the colour blue I see the same as the colour blue anyone else sees?" is a deep philosophical question with no real answer has never been in a 2-hour meeting with a graphic designer who owns a Pantone swatch book, and for that I envy them.

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  If you've got an opinion you want on here - submit it to the form: https://forms.gle/1gNMupaNHQf8xeRE6

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  20-30 years ago, antagonists in even realistic, grittiest movies became basically supernatural. They get into any building, setup elaborate contraptions, at any cost, singlehandedly, and not get detected. At least they would try and explain that kind of bollocks in older movies.