If you can afford to gamble $25 on the advice of an Internet stranger, do this: Buy a 4lb bag of Vital Wheat gluten. (Can be aquired on Anthony’s Goods website.) Mix it about 50-50 with water, and just… do stuff with it. Example1: Mix 350 grams of gluten powder with 450 grams of water (Optional 5 grams of MSG) and stir it together until it’s a big blob. Pick it up and stretch it in every possible direction and knead the absolute shit out of it. Divide into 7 portions, and place on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 250°F/120°C for about 2 hours. You now have a 50 grams of protein blob for each day of the week, to be sliced and dovided however you wish throughout the day. Example2: Get a ripping hot skillet and dump in Some™ gluten powder and Approximately® twice as much water and vigorously stir it with, like, a fork or something like that, and dump some cooking oil on it as an afterthought, and dump some spices in it and boil off all the water to make a fake Taco meat mix. If it sticks, take it off the heat and add a splash of water to unstick it, and it’s okay to jave juicy taco seitan crumbles. You actually cannot fuck this up. Enjoy.